Advice Guru Liz Pryor: Yes, Times Are Tough, But We're All In The Same Boat
March 15, 2010 — -- Do I dare say that there might be something profoundly positive about our country's state of economy? The recession that has billowed in on us like a dark looming cloud ... could it possibly have brought something positive?
The pleas for help and guidance on the subject of employment, debt and financial difficulty are abundant right now. People are flailing. Times are changed, and it's hard for many.
At the same time, it feels as if as an entire nation of people, we are on the same page with the same concern for the first time in a long time. Regardless of our position, ranking, income, background, age, or education, we have all seemingly succumbed to the same reality; our lives are gravely affected by this one life-challenging issue.
The good news is, there is comfort that comes in sharing this new weight in life with those around us. Commiseration brings us a sense of hope and strength.
If you look around right now, you will notice there is a sense of comfort available everywhere you turn, by the mere fact that we're all swimming in the same water. It almost feels as though the things that used to matter to us -- the superfluous, materialistic, superficial things we were dying to have -- have slowly faded away, and have been replaced with one clear and simple need ... survival.
Life for most people right now is about having and holding a job, keeping a home, getting out of debt, finding a way to pay for our children's educations. We're facing a new kind of everyday, figuring out a way to get scrappy, and thrifty.
We now actually talk about the price of things with one another. We discuss the value of a dollar, the sales, the bargains, the ways to make our money last. We share it openly and candidly.
There is no room or time for judgment of others and the things they have and don't have. The assumption is, which happens to be accurate, that everyone is watching their money, no matter who they are. Our lives are consumed with how we will survive now and in the near future. This is not as it used to be in this society. THIS I think is comforting, and perhaps a step in a different direction.
Maybe the American dream is changing. Maybe the new dream lives somewhere in the idea that we strive to have money in the bank, live below our means, and have no debt.
Of course this dream would be based in something different, because you wouldn't be able to see it. It wouldn't be a car, or a home or a boat or a dress. The new dream would have to be the kind that lives inside of people and shows differently than ever before.
Maybe the people who succeed will be the first in a long time to live life without the racking stress and anxiety so many have come to know as familiar.
How would it show on the average person, if they had enough money in the bank to live for the next several years, and had no debt to pay off every month? How might we place a value of the invisible accomplishment of that?
Making life work in today's economy is going to take a kind of tenacity and resilience that perhaps we're not accustomed to, but we have to believe we can manage. Learning to save our money, even if it's a nominal amount. Resisting temptation to have and to get when we're not accustomed to it. Working longer and harder at our work. If we need a job, finding a way to take advantage of the opportunities that surround us every day, and turning them into something productive for our lives is what we can do.
This is the kind of scrappy, thrifty hopeful living we are going to need to put out for a while. And in it all, remember that the people around you, no matter who they are, share in your struggle and your hope to get their lives to a better place.
So talk about it, pick it apart and find the comfort in knowing we are all in it together.
Happy living and keep the faith!