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Why the 'Twilight' Era Was 'Traumatic' for Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart attends the "Clouds Of Sils Maria", "Merchants Of Doubt" & "Silvered Water" screenings during the 52nd New York Film Festival at Alice Tully Hall, Oct. 8, 2014 in New York.
Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images

July 13, 2015, 8:52 PM

 -- Kristen Stewart said her life has changed dramatically since her "Twilight" days.

The 25-year-old actress, who starred alongside then-boyfriend Robert Pattinson in the series of films, said following a really rough period for her during those blockbuster moves, she just said "f*** it all!"

"I lit my universe on fire and I watched it burn," she told Marie Claire for its August cover.

Read: Kristen Stewart Says 'Fame Is the Worst Thing in the World'

She continued, "it was a really traumatic period in my early 20s that kick-started something in me that was a bit more feral. ... Between ages 15 and 20, it was really intense. I was constantly anxious. I was kind of a control freak. If I didn't know how something was going to turn out, I would make myself ill, or just be locked up or inhibited in a way that was really debilitating."

Stewart added that after a very public split from Pattinson and a scandal with her "Snow White and the Huntsman" director, she was finally able to deal with her celebrity and fame.

"I'm really proud that I am able to move forward and not fall into every mental crater. That's a new thing for me. Age has made me smarter and calmer. And it is f****** awesome," she said.

In fact, her new liberating persona also came with a new look and a shorter do.

"My hair was such a crutch. I looked quote unquote 'sexy' no matter what," she said. "I could hide behind it. As soon as I didn't have all that hair, I had to let my face hang out. I felt more confident than I had in a really long time. And it felt really good. Maybe to most people long hair is prettier. But then what?"