Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru: Cooper Boone

December 8, 2010 -- Cooper Boone from New York, NY, is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read his response to a viewer-submitted question below!

Question from Jane in Ann Arbor, Mich.:"After nearly a year long search, my husband found a job in his field in Chicago - 5 hour train ride away. I work in Ann Arbor and maintain the household here. When he comes home, it seems there is so much catch-up work to do, we spend the whole weekend on repairs, chores, bills, etc. Exhausted, it is all we can do to prepare a good meal before falling asleep. By the time we can think about romance, it is time for him to head back to Chicago. Since our finances are still recovering and living separately has additional cost, our disposable funds are limited and prohibit hiring the repairs and eating meals out, We need some strategies to retain intimacy."

Cooper's Answer:

Dear Jane,

I need to commend you for staying afloat in these very difficult days. Your relationship, finances and time are all being stressed and the first thing affected by stress is intimacy. Remind yourself that this is a temporary situation which will instill hope and relief.

So let's work with that reality and help you make the most of your time together!

Your note talks about the physical element of 'intimacy', but there are many ways to be intimate besides hitting a "home run". This is an opportunity for you and your husband to re-explore other aspects of intimacy in your relationship. As time goes on, we often forget those wonderful things we did for each other in the early days of courting so let's turn back the clock and get you two 'dating' again!

Here is a plan that will help you reignite your relationship without spending too much of your very limited time and money. In two weeks you'll be skipping that 'good meal' on Saturday nights for a great "dessert!"

First - Throw away the expectations that you're 'supposed' to be physical every weekend you're together. That adds even more stress and ultimately disappointment when you're 'just too tired'.

Second - Commit to emailing each other once a day with a great memory of your time together, something you are grateful for in your marriage or the qualities that you love most in your mate. Making your partner feel special, wanted and valuable is the most important element of any love affair.

Third - Skype whenever you can. Its okay to talk through your daily grind - but this eye-to-eye contact will inspire intimacy without you even knowing it.

Fourth - When you are together, take every opportunity to share small intimate acts even while you're paying bills, doing repairs on the house or falling asleep exhausted. Laughing together, holding hands, a long kiss and strong embrace will add luster to your relationship and sustain you through the years. These things are the bread and butter of good love.

Finally, choose a three day weekend every 6 weeks to stay in Chicago or Ann Arbor and do a whole lot of nothing! Make your favorite meals, play your favorite games, watch your favorite movies and just BE together. It won't cost you anything and will be the best investment in your relationship.

I am hopeful for you and your husband because you're willing to ask the question and look for solutions together. Please check back with me and let me know how it's going!