Mean Girls Prowl Senior Communities
Dec. 29, 2010— -- Bullying may be a concern for teenagers in schools and through Facebook, but young people online are not the only targets of verbal abuse and social ostracism. Residential facilities for the elderly are not immune to abuse either.
Doris Lor, a retired secretary living in a retirement community in Chandler, Ariz., said she has been the victim of intimidation from other residents since she bought her home in 2003.
Lor, 76, lives in Solera Chandler Active Adult Retirement Community, which has more than 1,100 residents 55 years and older. She said a group of about a dozen elderly residents have not allowed her to use the community "clubhouse," where residents gather for luncheons and to play card games like canasta.
"They have a clique that's meaner than mean. They don't allow you to take part in anything," Lor said. "I know another resident who still goes to play, and she just keeps her mouth shut, plays the game and leaves."
Lor said she has complained to Solera's staff, even recording a confrontation with a resident who refused to allow her to sit at a card table, but the intimidation continued. Lor said the situation became so "humiliating" that she no longer visits the communal spaces.
"I'm sure there are some nice people here, but they have 13 or 14 people who are a disaster," said Lor, who either does not leave her home or visits other facilities, including Sun Lakes Active Adult Club Community about 20 minutes away.
A spokesperson from Solera said, "We don't condone bullying and don't have a comment on that specific case at this time."
Lor said she has talked to lawyers and wrote about 35 letters to legislators and community officials, but to no avail. She acknowledged the difficulty in forcing more courteous behavior, but she said she is entitled to the services that were advertised when she bought her home.
"When you first buy a home, it has a brochure and tells you what you can do here, but when you're here you can't do anything," said Lor, who added that she regrets that she is not renting her home because of the difficulty in selling it and moving at her age and in a less-than-robust economy.
