Advice Guru on Navigating Difficult Family Issues with Patience, Faith

Feb. 7, 2011 -- Liz Pryor from Studio City, Calif., is the recently appointed "GMA" Advice Guru and she is here to help with life's tough questions. Read her responses to the viewer-submitted questions below!

Dear Liz,

My boyfriend of one year has a really good female friend who he spent a lot of time with before me. Things have tapered off with them, but up to this point they both felt like it was okay to go to lunch or maybe hang out. He did a lot of Web work for her and she'd come over to do painting to pay him back. I know he once had feelings for her ... they never dated, but had dates and he has shared a lot about me and us with her. Is it unreasonable to say that I am not comfortable with their time together which includes several e-mails and phone calls during the week? This also means she always knows what we are doing, what we have done, etc.

-Margaret in Georgia:

Liz's Advice:

Dear Margaret,

Thank you for writing in.

A year is definitely enough time for you to sit down and have a chat with your boyfriend about this. Guys are confusing, they genuinely don't realize sometimes just how difficult something like this can be for us. Leave room for this not to be a big deal. He may say he had no idea it was bothering you, and you can explain what would work best for you. Now, if that isn't the way it goes … I would suggest that you be very clear in your mind before you have a talk about what it is you want from him regarding this friend. It is not unreasonable whatsoever to tell him how you feel, but you will have to give him more than you are not "comfortable" with it.

If you bring it up and he says, "she's my friend, what's the big deal, you can't choose my friends" etc … you need to be prepared. If you'd like to keep some of your life with him -- what you do, what you talk about, where you go private and between you two -- tell him! Have the specifics in mind is what I mean, and know them before you present this. My experience with these situations is that the changes happen over time. He's suddenly not going to be friends with her, but if he's a good guy, you will begin to see their relationship morphing a little in the direction that you'd hoped, and eventually it will most likely land in a place that makes you more comfortable.

Hope this helps. Good luck and don't forget to be patient!