Advice Guru on Getting Spouses to Help With Chores, When to Turn Friendship Into Love

Feb. 15, 2011 — -- Liz Pryor from Studio City, Calif., is the recently appointed "GMA" Advice Guru and she is here to help with life's tough questions. Read her responses to the viewer-submitted questions below.

Dear Liz,

Congratulations on becoming a member of the "GMA" team. I am struggling with this predicament. I have been planning and really looking forward to attending my 40th grade school reunion this coming June. The date was released one year in advance. My niece (whom I'm not close to) just a week ago announced her wedding date and of course, it is the same date as the reunion. These events are in different states so I can only attend one. What do you think? Thanks!

– Mary in Illinois

Liz's Advice:

Hi Mary,

Thank you for the congrats, and for sending in this question. I hope I can help you come to the best decision for you. I think you're going to be ok here, we can figure it out. You were invited first to the reunion, and have already replied, along with the fact that you are not close with your niece who is getting married. It reads to me that you not only want to go to the reunion but I see no reason why you can't make that choice if you move through the process with compassion and care.

My concern is more for what your niece's parents might feel about this, you don't mention them in the letter, but you'll want to focus your attention on them. I would say make a heartfelt phone call before sending in the decline for the wedding. You might be surprised at their response, it could be un-miffed and entirely understanding. It would before you make the call to feel firm in this choice before you take action okay?

So call them, and let them know you are sorry you cannot attend. You might be pleasantly surprised at how seamless this can be. Weddings are huge affairs, and you would be giving them ample notice. Now, if anywhere in here you get the feeling that you have made the wrong decision if their reaction is severe, you can always tell them later, that you've decided to cancel your previous engagement as you see how much it means to them that you attend! (Just giving you a cushion here).

Mary , these kinds of choices are really tough. But I believe it's all in how you execute it, and in your case staying open to a change if need be. You are clearly a thoughtful person who sounds mostly to need someone to say to you, yes Mary make the choice you want to make it's perfectly fine, show yourself that you can do this.

Great things for you - and I hope you have a blast at that reunion with no guilt or reservation!

Liz

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