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Alongside Ruiz was another father, Perry Monroe, who was grieving the loss of his son. Army Sgt. Christopher Monroe was 19 years old when he was struck and killed by a private contractor's convoy in Iraq on Oct. 25, 2005.

Perry Monroe, who also served in the military, said that growing up, his son was always doing something with the military, and after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, \"That patriot in him came out and everything else could wait.\"

The father from Texas said he put off dealing with his grief for years after his son's death.

\"I had been living in a state of depression that I had progressed to a point and I stalled out because I was just spinning my wheels. All I literally did for years was get up, go to work, come home eat and sleep,\" Monroe said. \"I had a small group of friends and that was it. Since then, breaking out, I've not been afraid to speak.\"

Recently at an event in College Station during an interview, he said \"part of the reason I do this is for his son.\"

\"When it happened, knowing the combination of seeing a chaplain and sergeant first class when they sat me down and told me it was my son, it was like the numbness set in, it was like going on autopilot,\" he continued. \"It was like going back to losing my friends, but this time it was closer, it was family.\"

\"PHOTO:
U.S. Army
PHOTO: Army Spc. Christopher T. Monroe died on Oct. 25, 2005, in Basra, Iraq.
>

Monroe has since learned the power of using grief to push forward.

\"It was focusing on what needed to be done, what had to be taken care of. And that's what is so hard [about] being a man dealing with grief, because we're taught, 'You hide it, you don't cry, you don't break down, you're strong.' No, when you cry, you're brave,\" he said. \"When you're vulnerable, you're brave, you're human; you're not a machine, and grief is part of that -- but not letting it hold you back and considering it a partner on the journey.\"

The group of men \"walking with the same weight belt,\" as Ruiz explained it, took comfort in the TAPS environment and practices led by Rao.

\"I was really apprehensive; I showed up this morning and got with this group of guys,\" Ruiz said. \"Gabriel was leading the guys in things men don't generally do, focusing on our feelings and ourselves.\"

\"Actually allowing him to lead through some exercises -- I found it enlightening and help me kind of realize where I'm at,\" he added.

Ruiz said it has taken him seven years since his son's death to realize \"in reality you're not OK.\"

\"You're just walking around with it -- you just say 'I'm fine, I'm good' -- but you don't realize just how hurt and devastated you are,\" he said.

\"It takes a moment and being around a group like this you can't heal if you don't try to heal,\" Ruiz explained. \"An emotional wound is every bit as catastrophic as a broken [skin] wound.\"

Monroe shared that TAPS has given him the courage to \"come out of that hole\" and talk about his son.

\"Though he's not here, he's still a living legacy. He's here in his own way and that's just the way it's been better,\" he said.

Monroe thought his son would be happy knowing that he has taken steps to help himself and others.

\"I went and took the course to be a peer mentor for me to help the men that have lost a son, that have lost a friend through suicide, illness, combat, taking my experiences and help heal others,\" he said. \"I know he'd have a smile on his face from ear to ear.\"

His son wanted to work for NASA to create plants that could travel to space for long duration missions in culinization.

\"I took the money from the death gratuity and I donated it for someone to live his dream,\" Monroe said.

When Monroe got word 14 years later that Christina Koch would be the first astronaut scholar to go into space, he said \"it was so emotional to know here is someone living his dream.\"

\"Christina, the female version of Christopher, that ain't coincidence,\" he added. \"Knowing that she's up there as an inspiration for others, that gives validation to my son's life.\"

The retreat, located near Houston, also gave Monroe the opportunity to visit the International Space Station, making the trip that much more special.

All three men -- Monroe, Ruiz and Rao -- were linked by the loss of a soldier in battle, but will continue to be tethered as they move forward and heal.

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