Deciding to challenge a beauty standard is one thing, but feeling beautiful while doing so is another struggle.

I was battling this internal conflict -- undoing years of conditioning to try to fit a beauty standard that I would never fit, and learning to appreciate what makes me unique while reassuring myself I can still be taken seriously and seen as professional with my natural hair.

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It's not that old, but it's my favorite hurricane-fightin' headshot #oldheadshotsday #wftv #bluesteel #rbf

A post shared by janai (@janai.norman) on Apr 27, 2018 at 5:14pm PDT

For many women like me in news, there's also an external factor we struggle with in deciding to go natural.

We worry about whether wearing our natural hair will impact our career trajectory and how we'll be perceived at work.

We worry for good reason. There are news directors right now who will not allow black reporters and anchors to wear their natural hair on air. That is a shame. And it's not only in news, but also in other industries.

I was ready to challenge that.

And though it's been one of the most liberating decisions of my career, it wasn't an easy one, and it took time.

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A post shared by janai (@janai.norman) on Jul 15, 2018 at 3:10pm PDT

While pregnant, I began straightening my hair less and eventually wearing wigs at work to protect my natural hair.

The first time I anchored the overnight show, the hairstylist convinced me to unbraid my hair and wear my natural hair on air. The feedback was fantastic.

So when I was named the new overnight anchor a short time later, I decided I wanted to find a way to bring more of my natural self to the role.

One morning, one of the producers, Briana, emailed, \"You might not think much of this but I think it's super dope you anchored with your natural hair today.\"

It was that kind of support that encouraged me to do it more often.

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A post shared by janai (@janai.norman) on Jan 18, 2019 at 4:16am PST

Most of the time, I do a twist-out, manipulating my curls a bit, but one Monday in December, I was back from vacation and hadn't had time to twist my hair, so I did a wash-and-go, which is just my natural curl pattern.

However, I hadn't nailed down my routine or found the right products and I was so self-conscious. I texted a friend, \"I'm sure part of it is letting go of the conventional news hair idea that I've been married to ... and because I have 'GMA' this morning and I'm just not sure about it.\"

That was the first morning I was on the \"GMA\" set with Robin Roberts, and after my story, we had a moment. She told me she loved my hair, and that was it.

My husband laughs at me because for months -- years, even -- he encouraged me to wear my natural hair on air, but I was too nervous, scared, reluctant. But once Robin signed off on it on national television, the rest was history.

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So much magic ✨

A post shared by janai (@janai.norman) on Dec 10, 2018 at 2:02pm PST

The response to that moment between Robin and I was pretty big on social media, and by then I'd started using #FreeTheCurls to celebrate wearing my natural hair.

That hashtag has helped garner more engagement from viewers and brought attention to the fact that this wasn't just a different hairstyle, but a conscious, liberating decision to free my curls that had been stifled for years by flat irons and then smothered under wigs.

And I've been fortunate in the feedback that I've gotten has been nothing but positive -- not a single negative comment.

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A post shared by janai (@janai.norman) on Apr 24, 2019 at 9:06am PDT

So often, I'm hearing from moms about what it means for their daughter to see the representation.

I got goosebumps when one mom messaged me, \"Every time my baby girl sees you, she says, 'That's me, mom!'\"

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A post shared by janai (@janai.norman) on Dec 4, 2018 at 4:58pm PST

And so many other women (and men) reach out. Some who just appreciate seeing the representation on TV and even other journalists who feel supported in their natural hair journey having someone at the network with natural hair.

But that doesn't mean the strides made are enough.

While I do enjoy seeing more natural, curly, kinky hair in advertisements and seeing more journalists making the change, there are still hurdles to pass and progress to be made.

For instance, we need to make sure we're supported with hairstylists who know how to do natural hair -- and managers and decision makers who are also open to and supportive of the change.

And that's exactly what I hope for: to be what I wanted to see and needed to see growing up. I hope the young girls growing up now don't ever have to worry about how they're perceived wearing their natural hair.

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A post shared by janai (@janai.norman) on Apr 11, 2019 at 5:55pm PDT

I've felt supported by other anchors and reporters who I saw go natural professionally, and I hope being in my position, that I'm able do the same for others out there.

\"Janai
Heidi Gutman/Walt Disney Television
Janai Norman portrait
>

I imagine the reporter who's the only black women at her station or in her small market, who wants to wear her natural hair but is too fearful for whatever reason.

I hope she feels like, hey, if she can, I can, too.

Editor's note: This was originally published on June. 13, 2019.

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