1:20
- family
- June 21, 2019
Mom pens viral post on parenting son with autism
Leigh Merryday Porch wrote about seeing viral stories.
But Porch goes on to say that there are \"no dead bodies required\" for your child to be worthy.
\"If you have a child whose disability is severe, such quotes are felt like a slap. Because some disabilities cannot be overcome,\" she wrote. \"They can be accepted, worked with, planned for, and accommodated, but no amount of parental love and determination can erase them.\"
When friends and family tag parents of children with disabilities that can't be overcome in what Porch calls \"inspiration porn\" posts, it's actually hurtful, she wrote.
\"We know they don't mean harm. So, you don't want to order them all to never tag you in a post or forward something to you. But many of those posts feel like a slap. You can't really win with it.,\" she said.
Responses to her post reflected others who had the same feelings.
\"The response from parents was really about that -- finding a way to articulate that you know no harm was intended but you want people to understand that oversimplifying disability leads to thoughtless and hurtful suggestions, comments -- and implications. In the same way getting a pedicure and having my hair highlighted won't allow me to look like Ms. Universe, doing what some other mother did won't make my child grow up to look like hers either,\" Porch told \"GMA.\" \"It has little to do with love and determination and a whole lot more to do with accepting and nurturing the child you've been given.\"
There is one place, though, the the term \"over my dead body\" fits for Porch.
\"Because - over my dead body - will he be relegated as somehow less worthy for not doing the unexpected and unrealistic,\" she said. \"The presence of an autistic adult in the world who doesn't make the newspaper is not a statement of failure. Not of society, not of his family, and certainly not of himself. And other than steadfastly insisting he be given every reasonable opportunity any other person has to live, learn, and grow, no other declarations need be made - and no dead bodies required.\"
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