Ariana Grande graces the cover of the August issue of Vogue, and inside, she explains why she decided to tour, despite the obvious emotional pain it's been causing her.
"I was researching healing and PTSD and...and everyone was like, 'You need...a schedule,'" Ariana told Vogue. "Of course, because I’m an extremist, I’m like, 'O.K., I’ll go on tour!' But it’s hard to sing songs that are about wounds that are so fresh."
"It’s fun, it’s pop music, and I’m not trying to make it sound like anything that it’s not," she added. "But these songs to me really do represent some heavy s---."
One thing they represent is the loss of her ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller, who died of an overdose last year. Of her grief, Grande told the outlet, "It’s pretty all-consuming. By no means was what we had perfect, but ... He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had."
After his tragic passing, Grande made her "Thank U, Next" album, but she admitted to Vogue, "I don’t remember those months of my life because I was (a) so drunk and (b) so sad."
"I don’t really remember how it started or how it finished, or how all of a sudden there were 10 songs on the board," she revealed.
But, she noted, "This is the first album...where I’m realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself."
(MORE: Ariana Grande cancels shows due to 'unfortunate,' 'unfair' food allergy)"I’ve been boo’d up my entire adult life. I’ve always had someone to say goodnight to," she added. "So 'Thank U, Next' was this moment of self-realization...this scary moment of 'Wow, you have to face all this stuff now...You have to heal all this s---.'"
The mag also posted a video of the singer performing her single "In My Head" online.
The August issue of Vogue hits newsstands July 23.