For the first time since Aziz Ansari was accused of sexual misconduct last year, the comedian has addressed the ordeal in depth.
Ansari kicked off his Netflix stand-up special, "Aziz Ansari: Right Now," by delving into the allegation, noting that "it's important to me that you know how I feel about that whole thing before we share this night together."
The comedian said that above all, he hopes the experiences of the last year have made him "a better person."
"I’m sure that some of you are curious how I feel about that whole situation," he said. "And it’s a tricky thing for me to answer, ‘cause I’ve felt so many things in the last year, so. There’s times I’ve felt scared. There’s times I’ve felt humiliated. There’s times I’ve felt embarrassed. And ultimately, I just felt terrible that this person felt this way," he said. "And after a year or so, I just hope it was a step forward. It moved things forward for me and made me think about a lot.."
(MORE: What sexual harassment is and what to do about it)Last January, a since-shuttered website, Babe.net, published the account of a woman who claimed that while on a date with Ansari, the comedian pressured her to have sexual intercourse after she declined, and also touched her genitals. Ansari released a statement at the time, in which he said that during the date, "everything did seem OK to me," and learning of her feelings after the fact made him "surprised and concerned."
"I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said," he added. "I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue."
In his special, the 36-year-old actor said that the experience changed him for good. Now, he said, in addition to being more thoughtful, he's more thankful for his career and his fans.
"I think about what it means that all you guys, you drove down here, you waited in line, and you did all of this stuff just to hear me talk into a microphone for like an hour or so," Ansari told the audience.
"And it means the world to me, ‘cause I saw the world where I don’t ever get to do this again, and it almost felt like I’d died. In a way, I did," he continued. "That old Aziz who said, 'Oh, treat yo’ self,' whatever, he’s dead."
"But I’m glad, ‘cause that guy was always looking forward to whatever was next: 'Oh, am I gonna do another tour? Am I gonna do another season of the show?' I don’t think that way anymore. ‘Cause I’ve realized it’s all ephemeral. All that stuff, it can just go away like this. [Snaps.] And all we really have is the moment we’re in and the people we’re with."