Culture August 4, 2020

This is how Charlize Theron responded when her daughter said she needed a boyfriend

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Charlize Theron spoke about motherhood and raising her daughters during a recent appearance on Diane von Furstenberg's InCharge podcast.

The Academy Award-winning actress, 44, revealed during the conversation that she's known she wanted to become a mom since she was 8 years old. She now has two children through adoption: Jackson, 8, and August, 5.

"My mom has a letter that I wrote her when I was eight years old, and in the letter I asked her if we could for Christmas go to an orphanage to adopt a brother or sister for me," the actress shared.

Theron said that when she was going through her first adoption with Jackson, her mother showed her the letter and she realized she was "connected" to adoption since writing that.

"She [said] you never asked me to have another baby, you never asked me to have a little brother or sister for you, you just immediately went to adoption," Theron said about her mother.

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Having children is something that remained important to her and affected her continuously throughout her life, the "Bombshell" star shared.

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Charlize Theron attends the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on Feb. 9, 2020 in Beverly Hills, Calif.

"It was also this thing in my relationships that was kind of like the make it or break it, like I was very transparent to all of my partners -- and if that was not something that was important to them then I couldn't continue a relationship because being a mother was one of the most important things for me," she explained.

Throughout the adoption process for both of her daughters, Theron said did not want to be "specific," other than finding a child who was "coming from a place where there was a real need for adoption."

"The thing that was really eye-opening to me was my children kind of came to me in this unexpected way, where I didn't know I was going to be the mom to two African American girls," she shared. "I didn't know I was going to be the mom to a African American trans girl -- all of these things have kind of made me more aware of how little I know. My children have completely reopened my eyes to the world."

The actress said that she often jokes she is back in university because she is constantly learning from her daughters and being challenged by them.

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She hopes to raise her daughters with confidence and the knowledge that they don't have to fall within standards society deems acceptable, she explained. Theron recalled a conversation she had with one of her kids recently about this.

"My little one said something like, 'You need a boyfriend.' And I said, 'Actually, I don't. Right now I feel really good.' And she's like, 'But you know what, just like, you need a boyfriend, you need like a relationship.'" Theron then told her daughter, "I am in a relationship, I'm in a relationship with myself right now."

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After sharing this with her, the actress said her daughter "had this look in her eye, like she had never really contemplated that was even a possibility, and I said, 'that is a really important thing for you guys to know.'"

Theron said she believes there is a prevalent stigma in society around the "idea that somehow women fail when they're not in relationships, or that somehow it's their fault -- that they must be incredibly difficult that's why no man wants to touch them."

"I hope that we're raising a generation of young girls who realize that there is absolutely no shame in that game to be in a relationship with yourself, to not fall into what society kind of predicts for us as what is socially acceptable -- if you are not in a relationship somehow you're a failure," she said.