Nick Cannon explained why he returned to work so soon after the death of his 5-month-old son Zen on Sunday.
On Wednesday, the day after revealing on his TV show that his newborn with Alyssa Scott had died from brain cancer, he told the audience, "People keep asking me how I'm doing. I say, 'I'm vertical, I'm standing, and that's a good start.'"
Cannon, 41, noted how a lot of people -- including his family -- are asking him why he's back at work already and urging him to "allow yourself to just be yourself."
"I appreciate that, all of that advice, and I know it comes from a place of care," he said. "But to me, this isn't work ... this is love. This is therapy for me; this is therapeutic."
Cannon also said a therapist told him to take life one day at a time in the wake of Zen's death, but that he was instead taking it five minutes at a time and using gospel music to comfort himself.
"Yesterday, it was a little easier than today because yesterday I was so laser-focused and even numb. I just knew I just had to get it done. Today, I'm a little torn. I'm a little confused. Because it's a hurting thing," he added. "I'm grieving. I feel guilty for on many levels."
As Cannon thanked everyone for their support, Scott posted an emotional Instagram video montage tribute showing Zen playing with a toy piano and taking a bath as well as her rocking him as he looked up at her.
"Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away," she wrote. "It's a painful reminder that you are no longer here. I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn't come. The silence is deafening."
"It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy," she added. "I will love you for eternity."