Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru: Alan Fleischmann
Dec. 21, 2010 -- Alan Fleischmann from Chevy Chase, Md., is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read his response to a viewer-submitted question below!
Question from Meredith in Colorado Springs, CO: "The holidays are an especially hectic and stressful time of year for me and my husband. I come from divorced parents, which is a balancing act year-round, and my husband lost his mother several years ago, which is always difficult around the holidays. This Christmas, on top of the usual craziness, I am pregnant and will have my paternal grandparents in town as well! How can we maximize time spent with all of our family without stressing me (and subsequently the baby)?"
Alan's Advice:
Dear Meredith:
There is no better time than now to take control of your holiday visiting schedule and plans. Pregnancy comes with fringe benefits, including the right to use it as an excuse to have a less hectic and stressful schedule. And have no guilt! No one can argue with protecting your and your baby's health. And no one can argue with carving out some couple time before your new arrival greets the world.
"Take back" your holiday plans and use this opportunity to change the annual pattern of trying to please all others. Do what's right for you and your husband. Reduce shuttling by inviting your family members - together or separately - over for "pot luck" meals. Maximize your time with your family by minimizing your time on the road.
As this is a difficult time for your husband, talk openly about how he'd like to cherish some part of the holiday in a way that helps him recognize his mom's memory - possibly incorporating a tradition of his mother's? This is your chance to create your own family traditions, in which your other loved ones surely will be included.
Next year, you may want to get on the road if that helps your new baby nap!