Mom's moving viral post about her second-born has us crying because ... yes!
It's a feeling most moms of two or more kids experience, but have a hard time putting into words. It's a mix of overwhelming love and more than a little guilt: because after all, the second and subsequent children just don't get the focus of the first.
In a Facebook post that's now gone viral, Kendra Barnes expressed those second-time mom feelings in a way that's resonating with so many parents. Her post has been shared more than 45,000 times.
"I wrote the post while I was rocking my son to sleep," Barnes told "Good Morning America." "It had been a busy day, and the chaos that is two kids under two had kind of taken over that night. Bedtime was rushed and I was feeling guilty for not having more time and attention to give - sometimes things just have to get done and I don't have as much time to soak it all up as I did when there was just one."
"You were second," she wrote in part. "Not in my heart, but one did come before you in time. Yes, with you, it was different.There was no gender reveal party. No elaborate showers. We didn’t read all the books or check the apps every week to see what vegetable you measured up against.
"I didn’t take as many photos, didn’t spend every waking moment thinking about the way your hair might curl up on the ends one muggy summer day," she wrote. "My mind was busier; my body more tired.The worries of a first-time-mom had faded, and now my thoughts drifted to fears that I wouldn’t be enough for you. I wondered how on earth my heart could ever be big enough, how I could manage to divide my time and energy and love equally enough."
The Louisville, Kentucky mom of two told "GMA" that she had a realization that " different doesn't always mean bad, and less time certainly doesn't mean less love."
Barnes said with her firstborn, she had postpartum anxiety and depression, and felt that she had somehow lost out -- being caught up in so many details.
"The second time I wasn't as focused on all the little details, like photos and baby books, but I feel like I was really able to enjoy more of the things that matter," she told "GMA."
While Barnes thinks it's natural that moms want all their children to feel special and make sure no one feels shorted, she does think there are larger societal issues at play too.
"There has been such a pervasive shift in our culture telling women that they need to do it all, have it all, be everything to everyone, and honestly, it's dangerous," she said. "So many moms are feeling defeated before they even start their day simply because there's no way anyone can really do it all. My hope is that sharing my stories will make us all feel less alone."
