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\"I think as a society we really enjoy this type of positivity because it makes us feel like everything is OK,\" Goodman said. \"It also puts a lot of responsibility on the individual. It lets us be able to say, 'This is your issue and if you could just be a little bit more positive, you would be able to fix it.'\"

In reality, life is more complicated than that. Goodman explained via a viral social media post how some positivity can be \"dismissive,\" while \"validation and hope\" can be better mechanisms for helping people cope.

\"PHOTO:
ABC News
PHOTO: Licensed psychotherapist Whitney Hawkins Goodman discusses toxic positivity at her home in Miami Beach, Florida, on September 30, 2019.
>

\"Toxic positivity has become such a popular concept with people because positivity has become so popular lately,\" Goodman said. \"I think social media has played a huge role in how much we see positivity being pushed on us in our daily lives -- that everybody else is doing so great and they're so happy, and we're not.\"

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“I just want you to listen. Stop trying to fix the problem.” This is probably the number 1 line I hear in couple’s therapy. It can be so tempting to “fix” things for our partners. I am majorlyyyy guilty of this. We are just convinced we know exactly how to take their pain away. Maybe we do, maybe we don’t. But most of the time…it’s just us feeling uncomfortable with their pain. So we want to wrap it up, fix it, and move on so we don’t have to sit with it anymore. This week I challenge you to come from a place of curiosity rather than trying to fix it. Ask questions and just be there. You can even just say “that’s shitty. I hate that this is happening.” Try it and lmk how it goes!

A post shared by whitney goodman lmft (@sitwithwhit) on Feb 26, 2019 at 1:28pm PST

Goodman said your interactions with others can be more helpful when you validate their statements and feelings.

To do that, she has provided tips for how to engage better with our loved ones:

1. Validate the experience that the person is going through. Say things like, \"I hear what you're saying;\" \"I'm here for you;\" and \"That sounds really hard.\"

2. Ask them questions, such as, \"Can you tell me more about that?\" or \"Can you tell me a little bit more about what this feels like for you?\"

3. Ask the person if they want space to vent about their issue or if they want advice. If the person tells you that they want advice, it's OK to step in and share with them. If they tell you they are looking to share, then this is where you stop and continue to ask questions and be there with them.

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We don’t like to be around people who are crying. It makes us feel helpless, useless, and emotional. Seeing others in distress leads to our own personal distress. We want to make it better for them and for us. Crying is important. It helps us relieve stress and express our emotions. It’s not something we should try to stop or run from. The next time someone is crying around you, try out some of these options. What is your favorite? Thank you @drdeanie for inspiring this post! Check her out for more amazing suggestions on how to sit with someone who is struggling.

A post shared by whitney goodman lmft (@sitwithwhit) on Jul 14, 2019 at 11:31am PDT

\"If you're the recipient of toxic positivity, it might make you feel really emotional and like the other person doesn't understand you,\" Goodman said. \"It's OK to tell that person what you need in the moment, and if they're not able to offer it to you, it's OK to say, 'This is about me.'\"

If that happens, Goodman suggested going to talk about the issue with another person who might be able to validate you in the moment.

\"Toxic positivity is a scary word,\" Goodman said. \"We want you to have more positivity in your life. What's important is that you're able to feel a wide variety of emotions and get to that positive adaptive thought on your own without being pushed there.\"

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