October 2, 2019

Husband reminds his wife there's 'no trophy' in parenting in viral post

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There's no trophy in parenting.

That might seem like an obvious statement but if there really is no trophy, why do moms do so many things they may not even feel strongly about?

When Ashley Gibson was giving birth to her third child, she "wasn't dead set" on having an non-medicated birth.

Kayla Mattox
Ashley Gibson and her family.

"My mom had done it and my friends had done it," the Yuma, Arizona, mom told "Good Morning America." "It seemed like something you should be able to say you did."

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But as the pain progressed and Gibson debated whether an epidural was the right decision, her husband Brandon said four simple words.

"There’s no trophy Ashley."

In a now-viral post that's been shared on Facebook more than 60,000 times, Gibson writes about how this simple phrase is applicable to so many of the parts of parenthood done because of societal pressures.

It reads, in part: "As moms in today’s world it can feel like we’re all competing for a trophy that doesn’t exist. I literally thought in that delivery room that I would somehow be 'less than' as mother for tapping out and asking for the drugs. Like there would be a gold medal or AT LEAST a gold sticker on my medical chart for having a natural birth. And I felt like I was letting some invisible committee down when we bought formula to help him pass the amniotic fluid he had swallowed."

Gibson told "GMA" she's surprised by how many times her post has been shared.

"If I could have chosen a photo of myself to go viral it wouldn't be one of my four days postpartum," she laughed. "But it's been great to hear that the post helped some moms heal in a way or just that it was something they needed to hear."

Gibson's continued to think of her husband's words as she enjoys the journey of parenting her third boy. "It's been so much fun," she said. "I've been able to relax into it."

Her advice to new moms: "You really have to trust your gut. People have all sorts of advice, but no one knows your specific situation."