Amy Poehler and Will Arnett open up about co-parenting teen sons
Amy Poehler and Will Arnett recently opened up about co-parenting their two teenage sons in a new episode of Arnett's "SmartLess" podcast, which he co-hosts with fellow actors Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes.
Poehler, 53, and Arnett, 54, were married from 2003 until their divorce in 2016. They share sons Abel Arnett, 14, and Archibald "Archie" Arnett, 16.
Poehler said when it comes to parenting, she tries to approach it with flexibility.
"I think parenting is a constant, ever-changing thing, right? Somebody said this to me once that I always loved, which was, 'Parenting is like a series of short stories,'" the mom of two said.
"So, a short story starts and you think, 'I don't know how this story is going to go. I don't know the characters. I don't even know what's going to happen.' And then you're in the middle of the short story and you think, 'Man, I never want this to end. I love this. I love this. I got it. I'm in the groove. I know what I'm doing,'" Poehler continued. "And then the short story is over, and you think, 'Oh, no, there's no way the next one could be better.' It's just like ... your kid is changing so much, and the world is changing so much, and you have to stay kind of flexible, pliable, learn from your mistakes."
Arnett agreed with Poehler's parenting perspective, saying he tries to remind himself to stay present as a father and listen to his kids more than offer advice.
"I have to try really hard -- Amy, you're really good at this, and you help me do this in concert with you -- to remember to listen to what they're saying and to not try to impose what I think -- 'You need this, you need that' -- but to actually sit and listen to what your kid is trying to say," he said. "I mean, encourage them to as much as they can to speak and to really hear."
Poehler and Arnett said they try to center their children's experiences, even though it may not feel like a natural response.
"Your instinct is to want to give them advice, or tell them what to be aware of or afraid of, or share your own personal stuff, like, that's so instinctual, of course, because we want the best for our kids," said Poehler.
The "Good Hang with Amy Poehler" podcast host then shared a tip she said works well with her sons.
"I remember reading somewhere that when your kid tells you something, you just repeat it back to them like you're doing a headline of a news story," she said. "It actually works really well with [other] people too ... they say, 'Oh, I had a bad day in math.' And then you go, 'You had a bad day in math.' That's all you say."
She added that her perspective on parenting has shifted as her kids have grown older.
"Supposedly, when your kids become teens, you go from producer to consultant. That's the difference," Poehler shared. "You're no longer producing their lives. You're there for them to consult. So you have to kind of let them start producing their own lives, which is not easy."
