'Intolerance and hate for my child is inevitable' mom writes in powerful post
Most parents experience some fear when it comes time to send their kids to kindergarten. But for Alyssa Monet the fear was greater than most.
After the murder of George Floyd, Money was asked by the site Just Two Moms to reflect on her experiences. Monet wrote about her fears on her daughter Adeline starting kindergarten.
She wrote in part, "I was afraid Adeline would spend the entire year in the principal's office because her energy and impulsivity was blamed on the fact that she is black and thus must just be a budding delinquent. I was afraid because of stereotypes her underachievement may just be accepted as 'the best she is capable of', when I know she is capable of anything with the right support. But mostly…I was afraid that she will walk into a classroom with kids that were taught hate and intolerance at home. Unfortunately, we are not afforded the privilege to just be afraid. I know -- based on my own experiences -- that intolerance and hate for my child is inevitable."
Her daughter. Adeline, now 6, is biracial. She also has an invisible disability. Those two things. her mom told "Good Morning America" went "hand in hand" when it came to Adeline's "very difficult" school year.
"I didn't want her to be seen as the out-of-control black kid," the California-based Monet said.
Still, when Adeline was not given the support she needed to be successful in a general education classroom -- a placement her mother told "GMA" she did not agree with in the first place but was convinced of by the school district -- she spent more time in the principal's office than in the classroom.
"They were not getting that she's not a bad kid," her mom said. Part of Adeline's disability leads to impulse control issues, which made her run out of the classroom and emotional dysregulation, which can make peer engagement difficult. When in her daughter's classroom, her mother heard her referred to by her (white) classmates as the "brown baby."
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"So now she's a baby because of her disability and not just a baby, a brown baby. No correction from any adults in the room," Monet told "Good Morning America." "It made me wonder what was happening when I wasn't there."
In her post, Monet wrote, "I have had to prepare Adeline for the first time she is called a racial slur. I have had to prepare Adeline for the small hurtful comments that others may make regarding her hair, songs, family, melanin, or even her dialect. I have had to prepare Adeline for encounters with authority figures that all too often do not go in the favor of those with disabilities or those of color -- and of course she is both. But, how do you prepare your child for intolerance without instilling in them shame?"
Monet told "GMA" she felt empowered by speaking up.
"It's important to share our experiences. " Monet said, sharing that she's experienced social anxiety since she was five years old and going to a white friend's home for the first time. "We can be more sensitive if we know what others are going through."
Adeline is headed to first grade in the fall in the school setting her mom fought so hard for -- and her one-to-one aid. "I'm really excited to get back to learning to get back progressing all oi know she be."
