Culture May 28, 2020

Lead singer of Christian band Hawk Nelson reveals he no longer believes in God

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In a very personal Instagram post, Jonathan Steingard -- of the Christian band Hawk Nelson -- revealed he no longer believes in God and how he came to that realization.

The lengthy post, dated May 20, begins with the 36-year-old explaining this was not an easy thing to come forward with but was something he felt was important to share.

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"After growing up in a Christian home, being a pastor's kid, playing and singing in a Christian band, and having the word 'Christian' in front of most of the things in my life -- I am now finding that I no longer believe in God," Steingard wrote.

"The last few words of that sentence were hard to write," he continued. "I still find myself wanting to soften that statement by wording it differently or less specifically -- but it wouldn't be as true."

Steingard added that this realization came over a number of years and he has been "terrified" to talk about this subject. That said, he wanted to speak for those "who might feel the same but are as afraid" as he has been in the past to say anything.

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The Canadian musician also mentioned this weighed heavily on his mental health, admitting, "Over the past year I've occasionally mentioned publicly my struggles with depression. This is what really kicked that off."

This inner struggle "led me into a very dark place for a while" but it was the "incredible love and support" from friends and family that helped him through it.

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"I'm not sure how much this will rock the boat. I don't know if this will surprise anyone," Steingard added. "But it doesn't matter. What matters is that I've finally worked up the courage to tell my story. To share my deepest truth. And that feels like freedom too."

Steingard followed up the viral post on Wednesday with another titled "What Now?" In it, he opened up about the "wild week" he had and answered a few burning questions.

For example, he said he identifies with being agnostic even though "labels like that feel kind of icky" to him and that his door "remains open" for God.

"I don't really know how to answer the question 'What Now?' with much certainty, other than to say that I'm ready to live," he concluded. "Openly, Honestly. Curiously. Deeply. That sounds like an adventure -- and it's one I'm ready for."